we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
