Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
