I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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