I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
