Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
pop tarts are not kleenex
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
