why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
