no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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