after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i need some magic done to my vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
