worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
