How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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