Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
