This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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