You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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