Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
