She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
