Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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