So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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