it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
