Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
