im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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