This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
