Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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