In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
