I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
