A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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