There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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