She's JV to your varsity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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