I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
