she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
