i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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