i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
