He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
