it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
why do cheetos always look like penises
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My penis needs a shock collar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
