she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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