hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
