Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
