is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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