How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize