It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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