sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I understand Curling. That high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize