Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Alive.
So much puke
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
