the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
