Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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