are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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