Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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