I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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