im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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