youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
did i just pee glitter
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
