try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
