yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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