her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
