My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
