Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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