): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sext me about skeletons
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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