that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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