just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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