chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
