Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
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Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high