you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day