Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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