dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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