Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
