Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
